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Coping with my Anger

Updated: Jan 2

Dealing with anger is a common challenge for many people. Anger is a normal emotion, but when it becomes overwhelming, it can negatively impact our lives and relationships. Fortunately, there are many self-help techniques that we can use to manage our anger and prevent it from controlling us.

Recognising the Signs

The first step in managing your anger is to recognise the signs of anger. As mentioned earlier, anger can cause physical symptoms like a faster heart rate, quicker breathing, and tensed muscles. By recognizing these signs, we can take a moment to think about how we want to react to the situation before doing anything.

Taking Time to Think

Sometimes when we're feeling angry, we just need to walk away from the situation for a while. This can give us time to work out what we're thinking about the situation, decide how we want to react to it and feel more in control. It's important to have a plan in place for when we start to feel angry, so we can remove ourselves from the situation before we say or do something we regret.

Breathing Techniques

Breathing techniques can be an effective way to calm down when feeling angry. By taking slow, deep breaths and focusing on each breath as we take it, we can calm our bodies and minds. Some people find it helpful to breathe out for longer than they breathe in.

Relaxing the Body

Relaxing the body is another useful technique for managing anger. If you can feel your body getting tense, try focusing on each part of your body in turn to tense and then relax your muscles. Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique that involves tensing and then relaxing muscle groups, starting from your toes and working your way up to your head.


Mindfulness techniques can help you to be aware of when you're getting angry and can help calm your body and mind down. Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, without judgment. Mindfulness exercises can help to calm the mind, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.


Exercise is another effective way to manage anger. Sports like running or boxing can be really helpful for releasing pent-up energy. Exercise is also a great way to improve overall physical and mental health.

Safe Physical Activities

If exercise isn't an option, try using up your energy safely in other ways. This can help relieve some of your angry feelings in a way that doesn't hurt yourself or others. For example, you could try tearing up a newspaper, hitting a pillow or smashing ice cubes in a sink.

Distracting Yourself

Distractions can also be an effective way to manage anger. Anything that completely changes your situation, thoughts, or patterns can help stop your anger escalating. For example, you could try putting on upbeat music and dancing, doing something with your hands, like fixing something or making something, doing something creative like colouring or drawing, writing in a journal, or taking a cold shower.


Managing anger is a process that requires practice, patience, and persistence. By recognizing the signs of anger and taking steps to manage it, we can prevent it from controlling our lives and relationships. The techniques mentioned above are just a few of the many ways we can learn to manage our anger. With time and practice, we can find what works best for us and lead a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

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